Forget Me Not

May 12, 2014
As Alzheimer’s slowly robs Grandma of the ability to function, Julia and her parents struggle on both the emotional and practical fronts. Sometimes it seems like their strategies are spot on: after Grandma accuses her new caretaker of thievery, the family starts taking her out on cleaning days “for a long ride to nowhere special,” Julia notes. “She loved that.” But despite their best efforts to keep Grandma in the home she loves, her memory loss and wandering eventually pose a real danger, and she must go live in what Mama describes as “a place that will give her the special care she needs.” In their sensitive, reportorial approach, Van Laan (Nit-Pickin’) and Graegin (You Were the First) acknowledge readers’ ability to handle this heart-wrenching subject matter while also granting them a measure of distance. By portraying Julia as a partner in Grandma’s well-being and care, the authors salute her competence and compassion, and show how it is possible to carry on, even in the face of a sad, scary, and inexorable decline. Ages 4–8. Illustrator’s agent: Steven Malk, Writers House.

July 1, 2014
A delicate, perceptive look at an elderly loved one with dementia.Julia's grandmother's eyes sparkled like candles on a cake, and she always smelled like lilac and cinnamon whenever they cuddled up close. But lately, "ever so slowly, like a low tide leaving the bay, a change came along." Julia's grandma is becoming more and more forgetful. Van Laan gently takes readers through the different stages of dementia, from Grandma forgetting names ("she liked to scramble our names for breakfast instead of eggs") and then events, forgetting where she parked, mixing things up in the kitchen and repeating herself to eventually wandering outside in a snowstorm and being unable to care for herself. Told from Julia's perspective, the story is tinged with the little girl's confusion and worry, but the ultimate tone is one of love and reassurance. Julia knows there is no cure but still hugs her grandma tight every time they visit. A soft palette of warm greens and yellows and the unmistakable blue of forget-me-not flowers blankets readers in a wash of grandmotherly comfort.Poignant but not overly sentimental-and actually quite light in some places-this quiet offering opens up a discussion of a condition that affects many. (Picture book. 4-8)

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June 1, 2014

K-Gr 3-When her grandmother begins exhibiting signs of Alzheimer's disease, Julia and her parents must come to terms with the illness and get her the care she needs. Grandma's slow alteration rings true: forgetting names, losing the car in a parking lot, and getting lost in a oft-visited place. Though the illustrations depict the child as quite young, her narration is rather adult in tone: "I remember when Grandma was still her old sweet self," "ever so slowly, like a low tide leaving the bay, a change came along," and, "When she sees her bed all abloom...." The mother's explanation of the disease is nonthreatening and easy for a child to understand. The pencil and ink washes, finished digitally and varying in size, subtly show how Grandma is becoming forgetful, from the dying plants and a watering can in the house to her mismatched socks and unkempt hair. Pair this with Mary Bahr's The Memory Box (Albert Whitman, 1992), which introduces the idea of how to preserve memories before they are lost forever.-Maryann H. Owen, Children's Literature Specialist, Mt. Pleasant, WI

Copyright 2014 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

January 1, 2015
A girl describes the progression of her grandmother's dementia. Unflinchingly direct text captures Julia's love for her grandmother and her devastation when her grandmother doesn't recognize her. Warmly shaded illustrations contain a forget-me-not motif, tying in Julia's hopes for bringing joy into her grandmother's life despite her losses. A powerful, clear-eyed meditation on one girl's loving but painful relationship with a beloved aging relative.

(Copyright 2015 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

September 1, 2014
Julia remembers how her grandmother used to be, when she "was still her old sweet self, doing the things she had always done," and then describes the progression of her age-related memory problems. Julia's love for her grandmother, and her devastation when her grandmother eventually doesn't recognize her, are keenly felt, and the text never loses its focus on the child's perspective. The tone is unsentimental but doesn't avoid the difficulty of the subject, and the particulars of the grandmother's decline--from seemingly silly mistakes to more dangerous misadventures--are related with unflinching directness. The warmly shaded illustrations contrsat cozy, contained home spaces with open public spaces, subtly underscoring the grandmother's increasing anxiety and loss of control over her life. Frequent images of family photographs on the walls help draw readers' attention to the importance of memories, as does the forget-me-not motif, which Van Laan ties into Julia's hopes for bringing joy into her grandmother's life, despite her losses. A powerful, clear-eyed meditation on one girl's loving but painful relationship with a beloved aging relative. claire e. gross

(Copyright 2014 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)